Thursday, June 7, 2012

Are you a bondage carrier? What is bondage?

Bondage
1. Slavery or involuntary servitude; serfdom
2. The state of being bound by or subjected to some external power or control

Though being under bondage can have several different meanings (Dictionary.com lists four), these two seem to become the most dominating in Christian life. Why is that, perhaps because we have become comfortably enslaved?

What does it mean to be comfortably enslaved (i.e. miserable)? Dr. Dan Johnston Ph.D., clinical psychologist, author, and founder of the Awakenings Web Site states in his article titled, On Being Comfortably Miserable, “Comfortable misery is when you are miserable but you are used to it. The problem is that it is scary to try and get out of comfortable misery” (Web).

In layman’s terms, fear, doubt, and pride are the roots of becoming comfortably enslaved and living in bondage. Dr. Johnston writes, “This is the type of reasoning that holds us back and keeps us stuck. You are miserable but not miserable enough to change” (Web).

As a psychology student, with a desire to not only heal myself, but also use my experience and gifts to bring healing to others this intrigued me, so I began to do some research into the subject, however there has not been a lot of research in the area.

In an article titled, “Are you suffering from “Comfortable Misery?” Taunee Besson, CMF senior columnist at CareerCast.com, and president of Career Dimensions, Inc writes,

Comfortable Misery, a self-inflicted malady characterized by inertial thinking, and an overwhelming need to maintain the status quo. Those suffering from comfortable misery run efficiently on autopilot. They go through the motions while experiencing little joy, learning, or feeling of genuine satisfaction, they’re like zombies (Web).Besson claims, “The United States was founded by individuals who believed in the Puritan ethic we were put on this earth to atone for our sins not to have a good time. Americans continue to take this mindset to heart” (Web).

Perhaps she is right, we all know and understand we are not worthy of God’s grace and mercy. Therefore, it is almost unconceivable; we struggle with allowing ourselves to accept His love, and as a result cannot rejoice in the full redemption of His sacrifice. Yet, that is not what God’s Word teaches us,

Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, "Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree"), 14 that the blessing of Abraham might come upon the Gentiles in Christ Jesus, that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith (The Apostle Paul, Gal 3:13-14, NKJV).

What it boils down to is pride and faith. We make too much of ourselves as if our sin is too great even for God, and we have little faith in a God who seems too small compared to our sin. We create a vicious cycle of doubt, conviction, and lack of worth. We have not only become comfortable in our misery, but we have allowed ourselves to become enslaved by it, and fall into spiritual misery and the blame game. Of course it cannot be our fault we are not happy in our job, or we have no friends that we can really open up to and trust. Neither is it our fault that God allows us to suffer through trials and tribulations, after all, God must make sure we never forget our sin, so the suffering we endure has to be because of past sin. We cannot expect blessings from a God who is not big enough to take away our guilt. We are just doomed to exist in this life, not live life.

Nevertheless, these are all lies of the devil, who has used our guilt, pride, fear, and little faith (doubt) to enslave us in our misery. We have given our power and control over to satan and have allowed him to imprison us in our own minds. Understanding this is the beginning of healing but only the beginning. The road ahead is full of the before mentioned, fear, guilt, pride, doubt, and the only way to reach the path of joy and peace, is to let go and trust the promises given us in God’s Word. Confess our pride and doubt when we encounter it, and accept that Christ’s work upon the cross is enough. Yes, I know easier said than done, but that is where another concept we must consider comes into play and that is choice. More on that next time, I pray all have enjoyed what I have written and I wish you many blessings.

“Healing for all physical, mental, and spiritual ills you can always find in being with Me”, God Calling by A. J. Russell

Work Cited

Besson, T. (n.d.). http://www.careercast.com/career-news/are-you-suffering-comfortable-misery. Retrieved June 2012, from http://www.careercast.com/

Johnston, D. (2007, June 2). http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/johnston.html. Retrieved June 2012, from http://www.selfgrowth.com/

Russell, A. J. (2011). God Calling. Uhrichsville, OH: Barbour Publishing.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Spiritual Inventory

Hay everyone, it has been quite some time since I have posted anything here. I took on to much last year and fell behind, so I had to spend a semester getting caught up to keep my GPA up in preparation of graduate school. Now I am taking the summer off from school, to pursue some necessary designated time, with God, and my new family, whom I am marrying into next month. One of the things I wanted to accomplish this summer was taking my spiritual and moral inventory. It is one of the steps we take in Celebrate Recovery, but it is something that all of us should do from time to time. Not only can it open our heart and mind to issues we need to address in our soul, but it allows us to come closer to God, and if necessary correct things going on inside of us so we may be right with God. I have actually been putting this off for over a year now, partly because of my time constraints with all I had going on, but mostly because I really did not want to address the issues in disagreement with my life, mind, and soul. A spiritual inventory can be a great deal of work, especially if you have things going on inside that have buried for many years, and in order to confront them and eradicate them from your life, you must allow the pain to be experienced again. None of us wants to experience the pain that caused us to burry those issues in the first place. A spiritual inventory should never be done alone; one must commune with God in order to understand the truths that may be between you and God truths that may be keeping you from the full blessings of God. We also need someone whom we can sit down with after, and talk through things, so that what we have is not our private interpretation of what God has shown us, but an open and sober perspective, so that what we have discovered we can be assured is Biblical and from God. After spending the day in commune with God through prayer and fearless self-searching, I have concluded that freedom and bondage were the two keys God wanted to share with me, though I did not see it at the time. Having written down several verses from God’s word and personal thoughts, I tabled it all until the next day when I could sit down with my friend and sponsor Ronnie. Over coffee, the next morning we began to discuss, the verses reveled to me and it was then the keys stood out for me to see. Once those were clear Ronnie helped me gain perspective on the doors to which they fit. Still using those keys and opening the door to painful memories of shame, abuse and other issues I must confront, is another thing all together. Nevertheless, confront them I must eventually do, if I want to open my heart to the leading of the Holy Spirit, and be healed. Once God shows you something that must be dealt with, you have one of two options. You can confront them and deal with them under the protection and strength of Christ, or you can ignore them. Which is never a good idea, because it has been my experience that if you ignore what God is trying to teach or tell you, God will use other means to heal His child, even if it means more pain to achieve the end result. Since pain is an inevitable result to healing (kind of like ripping off a Band-Aid, it can be ripped off fast or slow), I would much rather do it under the protection of Christ. Either way you must learn to rely upon Christ in faith to get you through it. Having faith that Christ will see you through and heal you from the pain, is much easier when it is a voluntary thing, than when you have no choice and can only take your next breath with the faith of a lion. I do not always have the faith of a lion, and can easily relate to Elijah under the broom tree (1 Kings 19:4), so the last thing I want is the Lord having to force a confrontation instead of facing it head on. That said, about a week after my inventory God began to put upon my heart how I am to write, in order to confront these issues and address the bondage I currently live in. This has come as no real surprise, since I am a writer and find that avenue the best way to express my feelings and myself. My writing process is not a forced process, and though I can sit down and force myself to write, I do not often like the end result. Probably because, I hate to write that way, and procrastinate until due date, and I am faced with a do or die situation. Since my process is one of inspiration, that is I write when I am hit with an inspiration to do so, or when an idea starts and I just cannot seem to stop writing until it is all out of me. I have gotten to the point I do not question what I am writing or where it comes from until the editing process. While listening to the teaching of my Pastor one Friday night, the Lord began to lay questions or statements on my heart. After sitting down to look them over I began to see titles, whether titles to chapters or simply blogs of inspiration I do not know, but I will begin the process of exploration and write what is upon my heart then post them here. If they turn out to be more than just a blog post, cool. The main point of putting them here is a way for me to pour out my heart and heal with anticipation what I share will be beneficial to another. So, look for my new posts to come, join me on this journey, and with any luck you will like what you read. Many blessings and I pray all of you are having a peaceful memorial day. Clifford

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Restoration

This world can be a dark and scary place, every day the news focuses on the tragedies and pain that takes place locally or around the world. People are fallible, we hurt one another, sometimes on purpose, and at other times accidently, it happens and we can feel helpless to control what we do. Yet, the one thing in life we can control, our own actions or reactions can be life and death to others, as well as ourselves. Growing up in a very violent home, with no understanding of love or forgiveness, forgiveness becomes a commodity not given easily. Years ago, I experienced a love I cannot explain and strive everyday to reflect, still the question arises how. How does one emulate and reflect a love they cannot explain or understand? In his book “Unconditional”, Brian Zahnd gives us the answer to that question when he says, “In a world where the ugliness of rage and retaliation are driving the story line of the twenty-first century, the beauty of authentic Christian forgiveness is the compelling alternative” (xxi). In discovering the full meaning and depth of forgiveness of Christ on the cross, I could not have anticipated the affect this act of mercy would have on me. Knowing this profundity, I am drawn to teachings of forgiveness, to understand how to follow the example of Christ. Because if one truly appreciates the lengths Christ has gone to forgive, knowing how much they have been forgiven, one finds themselves compelled to follow and explore. Therefore, the first questions I have when encountering such a book is, what kind of man wrote it, does his credibility stand scrutiny?
I know many may not be willing or open enough to go further. The word “Christian” means very little to some, it has simply become a label, thrown around by those who wish to hold themselves up as holier than thou, or used as a scapegoat to avoid their own issues, it may even be used to describe a nut, freak or even weakness. I have known such people myself, however I have found that to some, identification or identity in Christ is what it means to be Christian, and it is to those like me who wish to know more of exactly what that means I take up this examination. In writing his book Zahnd says,

I have primarily had a Christian audience in mind, as I assume Christians will comprise the majority of my readers. But to those who do not identify themselves as Christians, I want to say I have also kept you in mind. I invite you to regard this book, as my summation of what I think Christianity in its essence is all about (xx).

Founder and Senior Pastor of Word of Life Church, for 29 years Zahnd has led and taught what Christianity is, first by the Bible and second by example. Building upon his faith in Christ, he has established a four thousand plus membership church (family) that sits out to live what he teaches, and follows in Christ. Yet, it is not Zahnd that the church follows, but Christ who has brought them to Zahnd. After attending 2 years at Missouri Western State Collage and leading a simple coffee shop Bible study, Zahnd quit school to answer the call upon his life, founding in faith the home and school of life that would eventually end up in the middle of a cornfield. Ensuing the prompting of the Holy Spirit, Zahnd stepped out in faith to establish Word of Life. A task that at times seemed improbable, yet he could not shake the word in his heart telling him to teach faith and the church would grow.

As I said, we are all fallible, it has not always been an easy road and like everyone, mistakes were made, yet with every mistake growth. One of the most humble men I have ever met, Zahnd willingly stands before his congregation and admits to his own weaknesses and mistakes when made, things like anger over dealing with lost luggage issues. If after having taught something wrong, he has stood before them and said so, such as his early teachings about the gift of tongues. At one time, he did not accept this as a gift given by God in these current times, but he has since come to a better understanding and acceptance of such. Correcting his mistakes and turning it into an example to follow and admire, Zahnd has stood through the criticism of those who do not know his heart. No one can spend time with him without learning that he is an avid reader, educated by great writers. He devours their works, immersing himself into deep thinking, often quoting his favorite authors such as the Apostle Paul, Bonhoeffer, Dostoevsky, or Bob Dylan. He so easily lays before you the simple truth and understanding of the Bible. One cannot help but feel a kinship not only with him, but also with the humanity of Christ and His teaching.

For those who believe, the question why can plague them? We ask the question why because we know our own ability to hold onto bitterness and selfishness, the exact opposite of the teachings of Christ. “Unconditional” is easily understandable if one is open to it, which is the key. Knowing this Zahnd says, “Too often the message of Jesus has been misrepresented by the ugly faces of legalism, triumphalism, and religiously inspired hatred” (xx). “My hope is that you will allow me to present to you the beautiful face of Christianity- the face of forgiveness” (xxi). Zahnd begins at one of the most horrific events in history the Holocaust, and takes us into the painful question, can or should forgiveness be given in such atrocity. After, he takes us into the kind of personal painful experiences that many have suffered such as: rape, murder, or abuse. Though being too young to have lived through the Holocaust, and never having experienced the above-mentioned plagues of life. Zahnd has taken the teachings and experience of such great writers as Corrie Ten Boom and others to heart, for one cannot read the true-life experiences of such people as Mrs. Ten Boom without it having a profound impact upon them. With his insightful understanding heart, Zahnd takes apart the experience of forgiveness through the eyes of Mrs. Ten Boom, piece by piece to embrace the kind of heart it would take to forgive as she had. Then in his forthright ability lays the truth about the kind of strength and faith necessary to forgive with the heart of Christ. Eugene H. Petersen, Professor Emeritus of Spiritual Theology Regent College, Vancouver, BC, author and interpreter of the Message Bible says,

Brian Zahnd is blunt, bold and biblical: we simply cannot embrace violence and retaliation in the name of Jesus. As he juxtaposes the centrality of the cross (“Father forgive them”) and the teaching of Jesus (“love your enemies”), he exposes the blasphemous absurdity of hating your enemies in Jesus name. An authentic prophetic voice in the lineage of Elijah and Amos.

Jon R. Wallace, DBA President, Azusa Pacific University says,

Forgiveness takes on a whole new meaning in this powerful book, because forgiveness for the Christian is really radical just as Jesus intended it to be. Brian Zahnd takes the reader on a journey that at times is breathtaking. He reminds us that forgiveness is one of the most difficult acts in all our lives, yet he fully explains how we can radically forgive and become a living imitation of Jesus Christ. His illustrations and true stories of forgiveness are unimaginable yet real, leaving you with the realization that you want to be that type of forgiving Christian.

As Mr. Wallace and Mr. Petersen point out, once you begin the journey with Zahnd through “Unconditional”, you soon find that he does not sugar coat the responsibility of every Christian. When he says, “If we enter the Christian faith to find forgiveness, we must continue in the faith to become forgiving people, because to be an authentic follower of Christ we must embrace the centrality of forgiveness” (2). This is the same as hitting the nail on the head with a sledgehammer, and cannot be more direct. Sticking with him on this journey you will find his heart in every page, and the knowledge that comes with a life lived for Christ when he says, “… the call of Christ to take up our cross and follow him is very specifically a call to love our enemies and end the cycle of revenge by responding with forgiveness” (11). He also goes so far as to answer the question that will plague many when he states,

Christian forgiveness is not a cheap denial of the reality of evil or the trite sloganeering of forgive and forget. That may suffice for minor personal affronts, but it is hollow and even insulting when applied to crimes like murder, rape, and genocide. Christian forgiveness does not call us to forget. Christian forgiveness allows us to remember but calls us to end the cycle of revenge (11, 12). If the only way of responding to the evil of injustice is retaliation and revenge, we conspire with the powers of darkness to keep the world an ugly place (19). Forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness is a choice to end the cycle of revenge and leave justice in the hands of God (20).


No one reading this book could come away with the impression that being Christian is a weakness. Forgiveness, radical forgiveness as described by Zahnd is anything but weak. In fact, as he points out with some of his true stories of such, the forgiveness Christians are called to cannot be accomplished without the work of Christ in the Christian. Zahnd also addresses the desire to seek revenge or balance the scales when he says,

You may get even, you may achieve payback, you may gain your revenge, but you will stay forever chained to the injustice done to you. Your in danger of forming your identity around your injustice in such a way that it forever shapes your future. Even if you get even, you will still drag that ball of chain with you. In looking for an opportunity to be cruel to the person who was cruel to you, you will become a cruel person. And in becoming a cruel person, your cruelty will, in all likelihood, not be limited to the person or persons who have treated you cruelly. In seeking the opportunity to repay cruelty with cruelty, cruelty will become your identity, your lifestyle and your character. Tragically, you will do the very thing you hate: you will inflict cruel injustice upon others. Worse yet, you will become the very thing you hate. Evil is only defeated when someone absorbs the blow and forgives thus ending the cycle of evil. Absorbing the blow without retaliation by exercising the option to forgive is not weakness or acquiescence with injustice; it is taking up your cross and following Jesus. It is following Jesus to Calvary, and there ending evil through the triumph of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not weakness; it is the power of God, the power of God to overcome evil by depriving evil of a host for retaliation (83, 84).


To understand one must suffer an injustice, the kind of injustice no wants to experience. I know injustice all too well, and just how easily it is to become the very thing you despise. For those of us who have, and have awakened to our disease, Zahnd’s book will finally put to rest how to forgive, not just those who have hurts us, but ourselves too. Giving way to restoration with Christ, restoration and peace that can only come from the ability to forgive and accept forgiveness. Growing up in the world of pain I have, “Unconditional” not only set up my heart to experience a breaking much needed for growth, but put my mind to rest with a peace long sought, peace that only comes from the release of hurt and forgiveness. Having been accepted for who I am and welcomed into Zahnd’s church family years ago. I have been blessed to see the spiritual growth of this humble man. I have been on the front lines of his teachings about faith, love and forgiveness. Yet, God has put a questioning heart in me, so I continue to examine what I learn from Zahnd, never having been someone to follow blindly or uninformed. Zahnd has accomplished what he set out to do by showing the beautiful heart of Christianity and central focus point of the Gospel, which is love. This book is a call to the wilderness of your heart. It is the radical journey one must take to discover his or her self in order to truly live. In “Unconditional” Zahnd has given us the tools needed to let go of the past, to accept and offer restoration.


Work Cited
Zahnd, Brian. Unconditional. Lake Mary, FL: Charisma House, 2010. Print.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Seed

Just thought I would share this story with everyone. I did not write it I received it today in an email the author is unknown.


A successful businessman was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you." The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a seed today--one very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man named Jim was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Every day, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.

By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure. Six months went by--still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues; however, he just kept watering and fertilizing the soil. He so wanted the seed to grow. A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.

Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful--in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed; a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today, one of you will be appointed the next CEO!" All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure. Maybe he will have me fired." When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed. Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim."

Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed. "How could he be the new CEO?" the others said. Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. "But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead--it was not possible for them to grow. "All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. "Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. "Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment.
If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
So, be careful what you plant now. It will determine what you will reap later.
--author unknown


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Faith Life

How do we live a faith life?

Every year my Pastor sets aside an entire weekend and teaches on living a faith life. I have never been to one that I did not leave blessed and encouraged, and I have never failed to learn something new from his teachings. This year, faith life weekend is scheduled for February 18, 19, & 20th. There will be one teaching at 7p.m the 18th, two on the 19th at 10 a.m. and 7 p.m., and two on the 20th at 9 a.m. and 11 a.m. all Central Standard Time. Anyone, who would like to check them out, can do so via live web cast at http://wolc.com (there is a link on the side bar of this page), please do so you will not be disappointed.

As I was preparing to pass on this information, I came across my notes from this teaching back in 2003, and something I wrote based upon those notes, so I will share it with you below. Hope you enjoy it and are blessed by it. Do drop by and listen to the web cast I promise you will learn how to apply the faith life to your life. Blessings <><



Faith

Jesus will meet you at your point of Faith
As you believe so shall it be

The word of GOD will produce fruit if you hold onto it
Hang onto the word in times of temptation
Deal with problems by speaking words of faith to them
Speak the promises of GOD
Do not doubt, but believe in your heart
And you shall have what you say

If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes
Faith operates within the realm of the will
Choose to Believe
Be unto you, as you believe

The living GOD is a faith GOD
Who has established a faith covenant with his people
He is the same today as he was yesterday and as he will be tomorrow
Take GOD at his word

The just shall live by faith
Faith is a lifestyle
Faith people are blessed people
Faith is holding onto the promises of GOD

Whatever is born of GOD overcomes the world
When you are born, again you are born to overcome

Be unto you, as you believe
Jesus will meet you at your point of faith
He is the same today, yesterday, and tomorrow
See the invisible and believe to do the impossible

FAITH IS THE VICTORY OVER LIFE!

Monday, January 24, 2011

What's inside

Today was not an easy day, yet an important day. I awoke with my heart in my throat knowing that this day could change my life. I fixed my breakfast, took my shower, laid out my clothes and waited. As I did so, I tried to use something else to take my mind from the events unfolding. Therefore, I went into my morning ritual, of Bible study, catching up on unfinished homework and email. As time drew near, I dressed and left for my morning appointment, all the while knowing the peace I had known was faltering. Still I proceeded on to the task at hand arriving early, and pacing the floor. As the other parties began to arrive, the feeling of doom became more persistent, until I could no longer tolerate the theft of my serenity and I rebuked that which was trying to torment me. It did not just pack up and leave, I had to repeat this rebuke several times, until finally after my appointment I stopped to wonder down the aisles of inspiration. You never know where you may find inspiration, or as some like me might see it, a word from God to build us up when we need it. Today was a small victory very small, yet victory is victory, and if looked at from another view can be seen as a much larger victory. I know very few of you know the story or exactly what I’m talking about, yet somehow relate none the less. Today, I relied upon God to defeat my fear and doubt, to keep them from stealing my peace and joy, which was the larger victory. After that, I came upon these words of wisdom:

It is not what is in your past.
It is not what is in your future.
It is what you have inside of you.
That makes you, who you are!

I do not know the author of that powerful statement; I thank him or her for writing it and sharing it with those who find need of it. Still, more than anything I thank God for bracing me against the darkness, asking me to stand even when I cannot do so on my own, bestowing ability upon others, to give encouragement and strength, when needed. Today I was not strong enough on my own, today I needed those words to remind me that Christ lives in me, and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. With my peace returned, my joy safely tucked away to be shared at the appropriate time, I can now evaluate the small victory and see it as one more step towards the defeat of those who would steal my peace, my joy, promised me, by my King. Praise be to God for His glory forever! Amen!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Have you lived today? If you were gone tomorrow, have you lived today?

Rats in a maze

Rats in a maze
Make haste make haste
Such waste such waste
I’m late I’m late
Time escapes it escapes
Such waste such waste
From bed we race
We run we run
No, fun no fun
Till done till done
At the end
Is where we began
Time escapes it escapes
Such waste such waste
Have you lived today?
Are you a rat in a maze?

Lived
1.to spend your life in a particular way or under particular circumstances
2.to enjoy life to the fullest

These are just two of the definitions of what it means to have lived. So, can you honestly look back and answer this question? There is a song I love called “Line Between the Two” by Mark Harris. I love it because it makes you stop and think. The first verse grabs your attention:

A beginning and an ending, dates upon a stone
But the moment in the middle is how we will be known
Cause what defines us can be found within a line
Finding reason for our time

These words say so much, and you have to ask yourself, what defines me. Have I lived for a reason, for something more the taking up space, to exist, or have I wasted the time I was given? In my early years, I never anticipated living past the age of 25, so I never made plans for the future. I lived from moment to moment, day by day, one party to the next, one woman to the next, never really caring about anyone, but myself and not much of that either. Until one day, I was given a gift that scared the hell out of me. I met Jesus Christ, but I turned and ran as fast as I could the opposite direction. Oh, I tried at first, nevertheless I had so much anger in me, and I blamed Him for my pain. Yet He never quit on me, which is amazing considering how I was for all those years.

After years of running away from Him and myself, I finally came to a point I realized, I had ended up right where He knew I would be, all along. While I thought, I was running away, I was actually running to Him, and running from me well how vain is that. It was not until I reached full circle that I realized I had been searching for Him all along. It was in discovering who He is and growing in my walk with Him that I began to question my existence. This is why this song rings so loud in my ears, and the point of my original question.

To have lived, truly lived we all have purpose, a purpose that not only will give our life meaning, but also in Gods own way help out our fellow man. Finally, I now know my purpose; I understand how to fill that gap between the two dates on a stone. Though the second verse has strong meaning for those of us who long to live a good life, it is the third verse that brings it home:

I could live a life for just myself
Or I could live a life for someone else
But I’ll live and die just to hear You say
Well done my son come and be with Me

These words not only have power to stop you in your tracks, but the last line is something all Christians long to hear from our Lord. Still, you would like to know before that time; at least in your own heart, you have lived a life of meaning? The years fly by, time waits for no man, or as the Bible puts life is a vapor. This brings me to the chorus:

And the years go by, how they seem to fly
They’ll all be over soon
When our life is done, did we live and love
The way we wanted to
Cause everyday that we leave behind
Goes on to tell the truth
Of how we lived in the line between the two

Meaning and purpose begin outside of one’s self. Many things in life one can devote themselves to, yet none of them means anything unless they have two main ingredients, self-sacrifice and love. Which is the exact example Christ taught us, in order to live we must die to self. Have you lived today?